9/11

11 Sep

I know there are going to be numerous blogs, articles, shows…on 9/11.  I wasn’t there, I was in Ohio.  I still want to share what it was like for me.  I can’t believe that it’s been 10 years…my timeline may be a little off, but this is what I remember.

I remember…

Going to my morning class in college and not be all that psyched about going…it was an early class.

We got out of that class early, so my roommate and I decided to grab some breakfast from the dining room.  When we walked in (we had to scan our student ID’s) my eyes drifted to the TV’s.  I saw a building on fire.  I remember thinking, “That’s weird, I wonder why that building is on fire.”  I then grabbed my bagel and fruit and got went back to my dorm room.

I remember

Turning on the TV in our room and be assaulted by the images of the World Trade Center.  I turned on the TV just as the second plane hit.  It seems like it took forever for my brain to catch up with what was actually happening on the TV.

A plane crashed into the Twin Towers?  What happened?  How did that happen?  (I still didn’t know that it was a terrorist attack).

I remember

My roommate and I being in total shock.  What was going on?  Did everybody else know about this?

I remember looking out our window and seeing students walking around like it was a normal day.  Happy.  Only the worries of a normal college student on their mind.  I was jealous.

The rest of the day was pretty much spent watching CNN/NBC/whatever other news station or channel for that matter.  I had an afternoon psych class that I was supposed to go to and I couldn’t believe that the university didn’t cancel it.  I went to my class and all we did was watch more news.  I can remember thinking that it was kind of ironic that I was in a psych class on this horrible day.  The class didn’t last long, our professor let us go.  Not too much later the university canceled classes.  The next days classes were canceled as well.

My friends and I pretty much spent 9/11 watching the news and calling friends and family.   I felt overwhelmingly anxious and like my stomach now lived in my throat.

I remember

Watching the news and seeing people jumping out of the windows of the Twin Towers.  There are no words for that.

I remember

Thinking about all those people in the towers, praying for them.

There was a candlelight vigil.  It felt good for all of us to be together as a campus.  It felt safe.  We were all grieving/anxious/comforted together.  Several students spoke about how they were feeling.

I remember

The pain

HOLES
by Lillian Morrison

Strangest of gaps
their goneness-
mother, father, loved friends

the black holes
of the astronomer
are not more mysterious

this kind of hole
will not be filled
with candle flames
or even a thousand thoughts

the hole is inside us
it brims over
is empty and full at once.

Life after 9/11 got back to normal after a few weeks, but things were always different.  There was now always something nagging in the back of my mind that something could happen.  Now, dishearteningly, I wondered about the people who flew with me …who were they?

The next year, my mom, aunt and I took a trip to NYC.  We went to Ground Zero.

I remember

My grandma talking to the security guard about where he was from and where he was on that day.  I remember the fence surrounding Ground Zero and how it was covered in pictures, notes, stories, and names.

What I remember most about standing by that fence was how quiet it was.  Even though we were in New York City and there were workers in Ground Zero… it was quiet.

New York City will never be exactly the same to me.  How could it?   I still love New York and think it’s wonderous.

Today I will pray for the families that lost their loved ones, the people in the planes, the people in the Twin Towers, the firefighters/doctors/ambulance drivers and countless others who helped.

I pray that nothing like that day will ever happen again.

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